I don’t know if anyone here still remembers me, but I guess I just wanted to come back here and post something in honor of the end of 2020. It’s been a long time since I last posted, and I guess I just wanted to explain and reflect on what happened the past few months and including the whole year.
To put it bluntly, 2020 has been one of the worst years of my life. When I graduated college back in 2019, I’ve always known that it will be a major life change, but holy f*ck, I didn’t expect it to be this sh*t, honestly.
I quit my first job late in 2019 to start anew in 2020. And when I finally gathered the courage to leave my family and move to a city to look for work, the pandemic happened. I had no choice but to go back home. I was unemployed for more than a year, losing confidence and a sense of purpose with each passing day. I got covid, went through two strong typhoons, lost friends, had a breakout like I’m going through f*cking puberty all over again, and was completely isolated from the world.
I guess life is crazy that way, but I also wanted to share that part of my life. To be honest, I don’t want to be that facebook-person who post lengthy and cheesy new year post that no one cares about, or be that annoying person who romanticizes the sh*t that happened in 2020 by mentioning her “reflections”. But what the hell? This year may have been the sh*ttiest one, but there has been a lot of growth, and I would like to focus on that rather than looking back on the bad stuff.
Like everybody else, I didn’t get to do much in 2020. I didn’t have any “social-media-worthy-post” the whole year because nothing good happened. When I was scrolling through my old posts, I saw memories I never thought were so rare, and all of them made up the best years of my life. And at the time, I didn’t even know that it’d be so precious. It’s crazy that I look back at those days and wonder when I’ll ever have that again and feel the way that I felt being so young and carefree.
I miss my friends. I miss the streets of Manila. I miss going out and trying new things. I miss getting drunk at karaoke bars and singing my heart out. But 2020 has been nothing but a year full of struggle and a complete standstill.
Still, I don’t want to discredit my efforts in making my time at home worthwhile. I finally made it a habit to exercise. I took several online courses, learned how to meditate, read many books, and made continuous efforts in looking for a job despite getting rejected numerous times. I even started this blog even though I stopped posting for a while.
The reason for that is, I was unsure if I was going to take blogging seriously, or if I was only using blogging as a reason why I haven’t taken job hunting seriously. I was torn about it for a few months, but I knew I had to be honest with myself. So I decided to stop blogging until I get a job offer.
Now, I finally got a job as a Copywriter at an agency, and I’ve been doing good so far. I got a raise one month in because my boss was impressed by my work, especially for a fresh grad like me, and it’s so exciting! I just wanted to put that out there because all of the months working with myself focusing on mentality and upskilling are finally paying off!
Things are slowly looking up, and I’m hoping for more good things to happen! I’m not saying that all my problems will go away the moment 2021 begins but what the heck? I’m still hoping for better days.
Here’s to manifesting a hopeful and amazing 2021! Let’s have a good one!