I’m officially 21 years old and I’ve been single all my life.
I honestly don’t know if I should have a crisis about this considering 14 year-olds are doing it better than me and my peers are probably on their 3rd boyfriend by now. Still, I would say that this is pretty normal and i’m doing fine.
I’m not gonna lie that I’ve been wanting to be in a relationship for as long as I can remember. I’ve probably eaten up a lot of romance books from wattpad stories to adult fiction throughout the years and I gotta say.. I’m such a sucker for a good romance
and that’s probably the fault of it all
Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few attempts at dating and a few confessions from guys but I guess nothing really panned out. I used to ask my friends if there was something wrong with me or how I do things because I just never understood why.
Of course, I know that there is a big difference between the romance in books and in real life. I’ve know about how much love can be consuming, which I guess can be taken both in a good way and a bad way.
You see, I’ve always been the single friend among our group of friends and I’ve always been the one that they have confided in with their romantic struggles as if I was qualified to give advice.
I’ve seen how amazing and heart stopping it can be but I’ve also seen how chaotic romantic relationships can be in real life. It made me question whether if i’m ready have that kind of struggle or maybe i’m just scared.. of rejection? of getting myself fooled? of being stuck in a toxic relationship? There’s just so many things to factor in.
I figured that maybe once I graduate I can finally try this dating thing out and try to find love. But even now that i’m out of school, I am now busy trying to start my career and now i’m stuck with how the hell am I supposed to fit this “future guy” in my life when I can’t even handle my own.
Love in itself is scary, don’t you think? It’s just so much easier to fantasize about it and read about stories where the characters always manage to make it work. But In real life, it just doesn’t work out that way. I guess I just don’t want to be disappointed?
Honestly, I’m not really sure whether I should just “go for it” and take a leap or just wait until i’m ready. Sure, the latter is the best option but then again when will I ever be ready? I’ve been wanting to be ready throughout my teen years. Will I have to wait for another 5-20 years before I can finally do it? Maybe i’m just overthinking things at this point.
I decided to just try and meet someone naturally not like how it usually is now where you just meet someone online. I’ve already tried online dating for a few times but there’s just so much pressure to it? Like you’re all there to flirt and be interesting, and the fact that the people you talk to there are all potential lovers is just.. emotionally tiring?
Maybe i’m just being so pessimistic on all of this, I don’t know. I’m not rushing or anything but i’m not gonna lie about wanting to experience it firsthand. I know the time will come and when it does hopefully I’m ready by then.
Even my friends and family have been waiting for me to date and introduce someone to them. It’s kind of funny how they’re all getting more impatient than me. hahaha!
I still have a lot to figure out but I guess we’ll just see how it goes.
This article(?) is so cheesy, I know. Please forgive me! hahaha. I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently so I figured, why not just write it out…
Anyway, Have you felt this way about love and relationships too? What are your thoughts on it?
Please be gentle on me.. I actually find this hard to write and open up about but I want to know your thoughts on it. I’ll appreciate it a lot if you do! xx