The Fault of Being a Hopeless Romantic

I’m officially 21 years old and I’ve been single all my life.

I honestly don’t know if I should have a crisis about this considering 14 year-olds are doing it better than me and my peers are probably on their 3rd boyfriend by now. Still, I would say that this is pretty normal and i’m doing fine.

I’m not gonna lie that I’ve been wanting to be in a relationship for as long as I can remember. I’ve probably eaten up a lot of romance books from wattpad stories to adult fiction throughout the years and I gotta say.. I’m such a sucker for a good romance

and that’s probably the fault of it all

Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few attempts at dating and a few confessions from guys but I guess nothing really panned out. I used to ask my friends if there was something wrong with me or how I do things because I just never understood why.

Of course, I know that there is a big difference between the romance in books and in real life. I’ve know about how much love can be consuming, which I guess can be taken both in a good way and a bad way.

You see, I’ve always been the single friend among our group of friends and I’ve always been the one that they have confided in with their romantic struggles as if I was qualified to give advice.

I’ve seen how amazing and heart stopping it can be but I’ve also seen how chaotic romantic relationships can be in real life. It made me question whether if i’m ready have that kind of struggle or maybe i’m just scared.. of rejection? of getting myself fooled? of being stuck in a toxic relationship? There’s just so many things to factor in.

I figured that maybe once I graduate I can finally try this dating thing out and try to find love. But even now that i’m out of school, I am now busy trying to start my career and now i’m stuck with how the hell am I supposed to fit this “future guy” in my life when I can’t even handle my own.

Love in itself is scary, don’t you think? It’s just so much easier to fantasize about it and read about stories where the characters always manage to make it work. But In real life, it just doesn’t work out that way. I guess I just don’t want to be disappointed?

Honestly, I’m not really sure whether I should just “go for it” and take a leap or just wait until i’m ready. Sure, the latter is the best option but then again when will I ever be ready? I’ve been wanting to be ready throughout my teen years. Will I have to wait for another 5-20 years before I can finally do it? Maybe i’m just overthinking things at this point.

I decided to just try and meet someone naturally not like how it usually is now where you just meet someone online. I’ve already tried online dating for a few times but there’s just so much pressure to it? Like you’re all there to flirt and be interesting, and the fact that the people you talk to there are all potential lovers is just.. emotionally tiring?

Maybe i’m just being so pessimistic on all of this, I don’t know. I’m not rushing or anything but i’m not gonna lie about wanting to experience it firsthand. I know the time will come and when it does hopefully I’m ready by then.

Even my friends and family have been waiting for me to date and introduce someone to them. It’s kind of funny how they’re all getting more impatient than me. hahaha!

I still have a lot to figure out but I guess we’ll just see how it goes.

This article(?) is so cheesy, I know. Please forgive me! hahaha. I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently so I figured, why not just write it out…

Anyway, Have you felt this way about love and relationships too? What are your thoughts on it?

Please be gentle on me.. I actually find this hard to write and open up about but I want to know your thoughts on it. I’ll appreciate it a lot if you do! xx

27 thoughts on “The Fault of Being a Hopeless Romantic”

  1. You are 21, and you have your entire life ahead of you. (Actually, more or less 9 years.) Consider yourself fortunate. Love is but a fleeting emotion, and the real challenge is when the emotion fades – love then turns to an active, conscious choice.

    Hell, I’ve had my first relationship at 24 and even that didn’t work out after four years! You’ll be thankful for the chance to fall in love, something that people wait a lifetime for!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I just can’t help but being curious about it but I know that i’m making the right decision by waiting for the right person. Thanks for reading and sharing! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Bro you are too young and don’t much too much pressure on yourself. There is no need to make anyone laugh, be interesting for any gal. All are not Aishwarya Rai’s or Angelina Jolie. Just wear your attitude, Nd be cool. This is the rite age to focus on ur career rather than focussing on stupid relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tried dating but it made me realize that I was putting too much pressure on myself and the whole thought of it so I stopped for awhile. Maybe i’ll do it again when i’m ready.

      I can’t help but being curious on what relationships are like but don’t worry, I know what my priorities are. Thanks for you concern and advice though! 🙂 ❤


  3. Girl, same 😅 But for me it was a choice when I was still in school, I never really cared about boys, because the boys in my school were quite disappointing 😂I had a few flings but it never really worked out, I get bored easily lol. I even used to question my self if I was really a girl lol. But here I am in a 2 year relationship with a guy 😄.

    You will find that guy. I had my first real relationship after I graduated college 😊. And I think you should ‘go for it’, you know make the first move 😄

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Omg that’s exactly what i’m feeling. I started even considering that maybe I actually like girls but then again, If I do, I don’t think I’d have to think about it like this! hahaha Maybe the right guy hasn’t come yet. Someday.. maybe lol

      Thanks for sharing, Joana! We’ll see how things go! haha 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I think it’s something really normal to feel and be curious about but lets not worry about it too much. Let the chips fall where they may as they say! We’re doing fine with or without relationships either way 🙂 Good luck to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my goodness, I was definitely you ten years ago. Such a hopeless romantic and I tried to find love in all of the wrong places. If I could give you a bit of advice, it would be this: find yourself before you try to find someone for you. Get to know yourself and who you really are, and love her like nobody’s business.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Oh boy. I am so like you. Something you got on point how can I have a guy in my life when I can’t even handle my own life. Yes it’s kind of a strange feeling. I guess the world of book romance has moulded our standards high and maybe the bitter truth is we are not ready to risk our hearts being broken by someone. So beautifully and heart felt words. Thankyou for writing this down ✌💞

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! exactly! maybe one day we’ll find someone who’s worth the risk but for now I think it’s okay to take our time ❤️ Thank you for reading and commenting!


  6. Absolutely amazing, Fen, I love reading your posts and take my time while reading it, you should walk into love.. and please follow that advice because people who just fall in love then have no way to get out and..they’re basically stuck there, I dunno much about love since I’m way too young to, but the one thing I know for sure is to walk in love..always, Hope this helps, loads of love xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hopefully when I get the chance, I’ll be able to dive in it without looking back.❤️ Thank you so much for your kind words!! It means so much to me that you enjoy reading my posts! 🥺

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m proud of you for opening up! It’s never easy! I think you’re doing the right thing. Follow your own path, let things happen as they do. Love can be so amazing and beautiful but also the worst pain imaginable if it doesn’t work out. No one is every really ready, but when its meant to happen, you won’t be able to stop it 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. aggh thank you for your for your beautiful advice and your kind words 🥺 I hope things turn out beautifully too when the time comes. For now, I’ll let things unfold naturally like you’ve said. ☺️ Thanks again

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Haha, this isn’t cheesy at all. It’s quite relatable. I’m 20 and I’ve only ever dated 2 guys (currently still dating the 2nd). From what you said on your posts, I understand that you want an actual relationship and not something short term? I don’t know much to be honest because my first and second boyfriends were both my friends before we started dating. It just came naturally and I think it’s because we spend so much time together and decided to give dating a try and I prefer it that way because I wouldn’t want to be with anybody I wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

    Some people rush into relationships and they’re lucky enough for it to last for some time while others are not. I’d say you shouldn’t think too much about it. 21 isn’t too late lol, some of my friends who are older have also been very much single too. Just do what you have to do to make your life worthwhile, love will find you and I hope you don’t miss it when it does😊.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I also prefer knowing somebody and being friends with them first rather than dating a complete stranger. Unlucky for me that I don’t have much male friends or anyone I’m interested in going to the next level… yet? but it’s okay. I don’t necessarily think that 21 and not dating is “too late” but I guess I can’t wait to get my first experience at least hahaha I’ll just let things unfold as they may. Thank you for sharing and giving your advice! I appreciate it so much ❤️🥺


  9. This used to be me. I remember just constantly being so sad that I was single and had never had a boyfriend or a first kiss ALL THE TIME. I felt like such a background character in all of my friends’ lives who were in relationships or had boy problems. Let me tell you… the minute you kinda give up and stop putting so much energy into that negative emotion and accept your independence as something to celebrate… love finds you out of nowhere. You’ll get your story when you are meant to.

    Sincerely, the girl who went all of high school moping about how she’d be forever alone and ended up dating the boy of her dreams (4 years and counting). Hang in there ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aye- this is so cute 🥺❤️ I feel you! I’ve been through that emo single girl phase too but right now I decided to just enjoy being single! your story lowkey gives me hope though hahaha. Thank you for sharing and for your kind words. I’ll keep on waiting for the right moment like you did 😊

      Liked by 2 people

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