How many times have you expected the worst in certain situations? If you’re an over thinker like me then i’m guessing the answer to this question would be, “every damn time”. Truth to be told, even I am still working on having a positive mindset but I would love to share my new found realization upon pondering on this topic.
When trying to achieve something, it has always been the basic advice to “not expect anything” simply because it was logical to think that the more the expectation, the bigger the disappointment. It softens the blow, as the say.
I’ll have to admit that it is true to some extent. After all, if you didn’t get a certain job or didn’t pass your exams, expecting the worst helps you take in the pain of failure. If you do get what you want, you’d be happier since this achievement was not something you thought was gonna happen.
However, this kind of belief system is only beneficial for a short term but not entirely helpful in the long run. It’s true that disappointment hurts but it’s only for a moment in time. Forming a habit of negativity, on the other hand, will be with you for a lifetime and it will only hinder you from helping yourself achieve what you desire.
This is because expecting the worst affects the way you do your work in ways you don’t realize. Since you are expecting a negative outcome, you unknowingly act as though this unwanted result is already happening therefore influencing the way you think and act.
The self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. It’s about becoming what you believe in, and if you believe that you’re a failure then that’s what you’ll be.
Believing in the worst makes you give up without even trying your best. You end up sabotaging yourself by subconsciously putting in less effort making your expectation into a reality. As much as it is hard for us to admit, It is easier to blame ourselves for messing up rather than accepting the fact that we didn’t achieve something despite giving our all.
I, for one, am guilty of this especially when it comes to meeting new people. I’ve always been an introvert, and I blamed my awkwardness from standing in the way of getting my peers to like me. Before I get to interact with an acquaintance, I already expect their dislike because of my inherent awkward personality.
It wasn’t until later that I realized that the only reason why I didn’t become closer to my peers was because I already acted distant since I expected them to not like me. Now that I look back on my previous encounter with them, I realized that they genuinely just wanted to get to know me and even supported my endevours despite not being as close. Still at the time, I interpreted their distance as dislike when I was the one who pushed them away.
It’s true that rejection, disappointment and failure are scary but expectation is actually not. Expectation is envisioning and looking ahead at all possibilities. We just sometimes forget that good things are possible for us too. It’s all about focusing on the positive side no matter the odds.
If you believe in being the best, then that’s what you’ll be.
I have learned in a self-help book this saying and it goes, “ask and it is given” which I believe is a healthier way to go about things. If you ask for something, you let yourself and everyone know that you will do what it takes to get it. It makes you more focused in achieving what you want and believing in yourself enough to achieve it.
Ultimately, expecting the best and doing your best is better than expecting the worst because If you do your absolute best, chances are it will be given. And if not, then at least there are no regrets and you’ll know and learn that there’s something better for you.
How about you, Reader? Has there ever been a chance where you expected the best and it all turned out well? I hope you’d tell me your story in the comment section. It would be inspiring for me and others who will get to read it! xx