I’ve been reflecting a lot recently about many different things but mostly myself. The truth is, I’ve always been so unsure of myself, always needing some sort of validation from others. This is mainly because i’m scared of making any kind of mistake or displeasing people I genuinely like and respect. It’s an unsettling feeling.
Funny thing is, what brought this sudden self-reflection is an Instagram filter. The other day I discovered this Q&A filter on Instagram where random questions pop up and I found myself struggling in answering a lot of questions such as: “What are you most proud of?” and “What is your favorite feature?”
But what really made me think was this question: “What is your favorite thing about yourself?”. I genuinely didn’t know the answer to that question. If you asked me what I hated about myself, I would’ve easily given you a list. This question, on the other hand, I have never really thought about before.
It’s not that I hate myself but I guess I subconsciously pay more attention to my flaws rather than my assets but why is that? Honestly, not being able to answer these questions made me feel like I don’t fully know myself. Who would’ve thought that an Instagram filter would give me an existential crisis? But I guess that’s just how my brain is wired.
I ended up at self-esteem tests online and basically confirmed that I do have low self-esteem, as hard it is to admit. For someone who encourages self-love, I sure am having a difficult time doing so despite never realizing it all this time.
After much thought, I came to the conclusion that self-love should be a perfect balance between being self-aware and trying to own your imperfections, and recognizing and being proud of your merits. Because the imbalance between these factors will only result to either low-self esteem or an egotistical attitude.
I still have a lot to work on myself. I figured what better way than to engage in journal prompts on Pinterest, so that’s where I found this:
Truth to be told, I’ve always wanted to write journal prompts but I’ve never gotten around to do so. I’m gonna try and answer these questions for my future blog posts! It will be interesting to keep track and look back on my current mindset months or years from now. I hope you ponder on these questions as well, Reader. Let’s shower ourselves with self-love!
Ps. That’s me in my 2nd year of college by the way (hahaha) I chose that picture since it fits the concept of the article but I feel weird since I look a bit different now. I was so young and carefree back then. Damn, is this what old people feel? lmao
Here are my current entries:
You don’t know how many times I kept on delaying myself on writing this entry. The delay was mainly because it made me feel weird to be writing about things that i’m apparently “good” at that was not validated by anyone but myself. And I don’t in any way want to seem narcissistic by bragging… Continue reading 10 Things I’m Good At: Project Self-Love Entry #1
Eyes I’ve always been a shy and quiet person simply because I don’t have any words to say, and other times I just don’t want to be heard even when I have to be. Whenever words tend to escape my mouth, my eyes express everything that I want to say. Wearing my heart out on… Continue reading 5 Physical Features I Love About Myself: Project Self-Love #2
I’ve been taking this free online course online called The Science of Well-Being at Coursera which basically talks about happiness, on how it can be learned and understood, and how necessary it is for its methods to be implemented. I’m telling you guys, i’m taking this Project Self-Love seriously! In my first week, I took… Continue reading My 3 Strongest Qualities: Project Self-Love Entry #3